Like so many of you, for the last week or so I've been at home to see the family for Christmas.
If your family is anything like mine, then you would surely notice all the little ones running around. You would have also notice all the adults of the group attempting to play and have fun with the family’s newest additions.
The more I watched people interact the more of a discrepancy I noticed between how they would interact with kids and with each other.
The interaction with the kids was fun and playful and emotionally stimulating. The conversation with adults was bland and boring and full of facts. Except for my uncle, who everyone loves and says he’s the most fun to be around, his conversation was still fun and playful.
What’s striking here isn’t the fact that the fun and playful guy is the most fun of the group, that’s obvious.
What struck me is how everyone seems to instinctively know that to entertain a child you have to be fun and playful and emotionally stimulating. It’s like its engrained in their DNA. Everyone just knows how to have fun.
But when it comes time to "treat you like an adult" they quash that and make sure that your interaction is boring. I think you also see this alot in the guys who say "but I RESPECT women" They feel like going to that playful side would be treating them like a kid and that equates to disrespect. It’s disrespectful because you wouldn’t do that to someone in a boardroom...
Well guess what this is a boardroom, this is dating. You’re supposed to be fun and emotionally stimulating. That’s what its all about. We've always taught on bootcamps that anything fun in elementary school is fun again in dating. There’s a reason for that. Elementary school was FUN! Everyone knows how to have fun. You just gotta force yourself to let go of your lame social programming and do it! She will appreciate you for it.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
There is a really interesting discussion going on in the lounge right now about compliance and different ways to deal with girls not complying.
The one I want to talk about right now is willingness to walk away.
I think this is one of the most important things that you can display, especially when you are getting non-compliance.
Girls are playing compliance and hoop games just as we are. When she doesnt comply and stalls out she doesnt really want it to end, she just wants to see what we'll do, and if we'll be lame about it. Its a test!
By showing willingness to walk her hoop backfires in her face and sends her into dammage control mode to get us to stay, which in turns gives us the compliance we want. It also says a ton of good things about us in the process, making us that much more attractive.
Clear from the lounge does it immediately by voicing the fact that he's walkin. He will tell the girl thats cool theyre just myspace friends the second they show non-compliance.
Puzzler does it passively by givving the appearance that he's walked or is at least thinking about it. If they flake on him he'll just dissapear for a day or two till they re-initiate.
Cali Pimp does it by telling her if she doesnt get with the program she can feel free to leave because shes not what theyre looking for.
I think they all work great and its your choice which you use and in what situation.
Just remember this is always a small gamble because she could let you walk! And you have to be willing to or she'll think youre weak and bluffing all the time from then on!
The one I want to talk about right now is willingness to walk away.
I think this is one of the most important things that you can display, especially when you are getting non-compliance.
Girls are playing compliance and hoop games just as we are. When she doesnt comply and stalls out she doesnt really want it to end, she just wants to see what we'll do, and if we'll be lame about it. Its a test!
By showing willingness to walk her hoop backfires in her face and sends her into dammage control mode to get us to stay, which in turns gives us the compliance we want. It also says a ton of good things about us in the process, making us that much more attractive.
Clear from the lounge does it immediately by voicing the fact that he's walkin. He will tell the girl thats cool theyre just myspace friends the second they show non-compliance.
Puzzler does it passively by givving the appearance that he's walked or is at least thinking about it. If they flake on him he'll just dissapear for a day or two till they re-initiate.
Cali Pimp does it by telling her if she doesnt get with the program she can feel free to leave because shes not what theyre looking for.
I think they all work great and its your choice which you use and in what situation.
Just remember this is always a small gamble because she could let you walk! And you have to be willing to or she'll think youre weak and bluffing all the time from then on!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
ITs finals week so I havent had time to post much, but Puzzler made a nice post on the lounge about a conversation we had and said I sould post it here:
El Topo talks about how TMM community has many different styles that can teach us new insights about game. This recently occurred to me when I was talking to Levo before I was about to help out at the Toronto bootcamp. I found this conversation to be very useful. It taught me that a good way to get a girl who isn't complying to comply is say she's giving off weird vibes and her noncompliance makes her a weirdo.
Our conversation went a little like this.
Levo: Make her say everything is cool. I do that in set now too. I'm always making girls say they are cool with me and they like me, especially if they give me a weird look. It shows social intuition and I usually get IOIs after that
Puzzler: how do you phrase that in set?
Levo: Ok like.
If i do something or say something and she gives me a weird look ill pull back and go,
"Whooa hey whats up? You're giving me a weird look thats making me kinda uncomforable. Everythings cool right?"
Puzzler: sounds good
Levo: "You were kinda freaking me feel free to walk if you arent comfortable"
then she'll be like no no you're cool
Puzzler: that is cp game
Levo: and ill be like awesome. Lets hug it out or something then stack forward. Pretty much any time a girl isnt complying with me ill say shes giving off weird vibes
Puzzler: yeah man that is very useful
Levo: and make her noncompliance out to be shes a weirdo
At the Toronto Bootcamp I got to spend a lot of time with Sinn and Cajun. One of the things I recognized immediately was they used the word(s), "Weird" or "That's weird" a lot. I think they used it whenever they disagreed with something strongly and did not want to talk about it because of the brevity of their answer.
This brought me back to the whole idea that Levo was presenting to me earlier. How when somebody is not complying to your frame, calling them or it weird makes their noncompliance out to be weird. This is the definition of a way to say that your reality is what it is and anything that does not follow with your reality is wrong.
This is great tool to win a frame battle. Whatever behavior you accept is made out to be the norm and whatever they're trying to impose on you is now 'weird'. As long as you stick to your guns and they don't continue to argue with you then you win.
I found these two insights which came from totally different places fascinating and gave me the understanding of the importance of this concept.
It is a part of having a strong reality which these instructors do have and which you can present to a girl in set.
I am going to say "that's weird" a lot more!
El Topo is right, every TMM person operates differently but you learn insights into game from all of them.
Puzzler
El Topo talks about how TMM community has many different styles that can teach us new insights about game. This recently occurred to me when I was talking to Levo before I was about to help out at the Toronto bootcamp. I found this conversation to be very useful. It taught me that a good way to get a girl who isn't complying to comply is say she's giving off weird vibes and her noncompliance makes her a weirdo.
Our conversation went a little like this.
Levo: Make her say everything is cool. I do that in set now too. I'm always making girls say they are cool with me and they like me, especially if they give me a weird look. It shows social intuition and I usually get IOIs after that
Puzzler: how do you phrase that in set?
Levo: Ok like.
If i do something or say something and she gives me a weird look ill pull back and go,
"Whooa hey whats up? You're giving me a weird look thats making me kinda uncomforable. Everythings cool right?"
Puzzler: sounds good
Levo: "You were kinda freaking me feel free to walk if you arent comfortable"
then she'll be like no no you're cool
Puzzler: that is cp game
Levo: and ill be like awesome. Lets hug it out or something then stack forward. Pretty much any time a girl isnt complying with me ill say shes giving off weird vibes
Puzzler: yeah man that is very useful
Levo: and make her noncompliance out to be shes a weirdo
At the Toronto Bootcamp I got to spend a lot of time with Sinn and Cajun. One of the things I recognized immediately was they used the word(s), "Weird" or "That's weird" a lot. I think they used it whenever they disagreed with something strongly and did not want to talk about it because of the brevity of their answer.
This brought me back to the whole idea that Levo was presenting to me earlier. How when somebody is not complying to your frame, calling them or it weird makes their noncompliance out to be weird. This is the definition of a way to say that your reality is what it is and anything that does not follow with your reality is wrong.
This is great tool to win a frame battle. Whatever behavior you accept is made out to be the norm and whatever they're trying to impose on you is now 'weird'. As long as you stick to your guns and they don't continue to argue with you then you win.
I found these two insights which came from totally different places fascinating and gave me the understanding of the importance of this concept.
It is a part of having a strong reality which these instructors do have and which you can present to a girl in set.
I am going to say "that's weird" a lot more!
El Topo is right, every TMM person operates differently but you learn insights into game from all of them.
Puzzler
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Gaming switch?? Wtf??
In the last two days two separate people have told me that they are "taking a break from gaming".
The whole idea of this seems so foreign to me.
Its like they think "gaming" is a switch that they flip on and off depending on whether they wanna hit on a girl or not... Crazy...
I guess its a differences at a fundamental presupposition level. I don't have my 'normal' personality and a PUA persona that I flip on when I strap on my body armor and go into set.
To me what this is all about is BECOMMING that person thats naturally magnetically attractive to everyone around him when hes out clubbing and in his everyday life.
Remember where this stuff came from... We aren’t re-inventing the wheel here. Everything we teach is backwards engineered behavior patterns from highly successful and cool people.
This is what we should be aiming for. Becoming that person. Except since we're actively bettering ourselves then we're that person on fucking steroids.
Do you think naturals ever go around and say "oh man, I don’t feel good today I'm not going to be cool I'm going to be a supplicating dode all day" FUCK NO! Its just who they are.
When I go out with my boys I'm the same guy when we're sitting around talking about music and sports as I am 5 minutes later when that cute waitress comes over. I don’t flip on game mode. I AM my game. If I don't get the girls its because I suck and need to work on it, not because my superhero alter-ego failed his mission.
However this is in no way a slam on routines. Every natural ever has routines and if you dont have a stack you're really shooting yourself in the foot. The key here is to have a stack that is all stuff you personally think is cool and would say. Thats why it works, cuz it is you. Dont do strawberry fields just because Sinn and CJ told you too.. Do it because you really think its fun and interesting. I dont do palm reading or the cube personally cuz its not something I would do, regardless of the success others have had with it. If you really enjoy what youre saying it will come through and what youre saying will be super magnetic..
If you dont have any sort of stack in place talk to Topo hes writing some killer stacks that have really gotten guys great results.
So please keep all this in mind everyone when you're getting good. You should always be 'on'. I crack jokes and banter with everyone in everyday life from college professors to the old lady on the bus. I'm cool with everyone I meet at all times, because I AM cool.
And why the fuck would I want to take a break from being cool?
-Levo
The whole idea of this seems so foreign to me.
Its like they think "gaming" is a switch that they flip on and off depending on whether they wanna hit on a girl or not... Crazy...
I guess its a differences at a fundamental presupposition level. I don't have my 'normal' personality and a PUA persona that I flip on when I strap on my body armor and go into set.
To me what this is all about is BECOMMING that person thats naturally magnetically attractive to everyone around him when hes out clubbing and in his everyday life.
Remember where this stuff came from... We aren’t re-inventing the wheel here. Everything we teach is backwards engineered behavior patterns from highly successful and cool people.
This is what we should be aiming for. Becoming that person. Except since we're actively bettering ourselves then we're that person on fucking steroids.
Do you think naturals ever go around and say "oh man, I don’t feel good today I'm not going to be cool I'm going to be a supplicating dode all day" FUCK NO! Its just who they are.
When I go out with my boys I'm the same guy when we're sitting around talking about music and sports as I am 5 minutes later when that cute waitress comes over. I don’t flip on game mode. I AM my game. If I don't get the girls its because I suck and need to work on it, not because my superhero alter-ego failed his mission.
However this is in no way a slam on routines. Every natural ever has routines and if you dont have a stack you're really shooting yourself in the foot. The key here is to have a stack that is all stuff you personally think is cool and would say. Thats why it works, cuz it is you. Dont do strawberry fields just because Sinn and CJ told you too.. Do it because you really think its fun and interesting. I dont do palm reading or the cube personally cuz its not something I would do, regardless of the success others have had with it. If you really enjoy what youre saying it will come through and what youre saying will be super magnetic..
If you dont have any sort of stack in place talk to Topo hes writing some killer stacks that have really gotten guys great results.
So please keep all this in mind everyone when you're getting good. You should always be 'on'. I crack jokes and banter with everyone in everyday life from college professors to the old lady on the bus. I'm cool with everyone I meet at all times, because I AM cool.
And why the fuck would I want to take a break from being cool?
-Levo
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